Work Smarter, Not Harder

Being a mom is hard!

I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long I can remember. I met my future husband in high school and picked out baby names soon after. No matter how much I longed to be a mom, no one could have possibly prepared me for how much sometimes being a mom SUCKS! There, I said it. I know you were all thinking it! It all starts to unravel from the moment they give you those mesh panties! In your mind you are thinking, it cannot get any worse, can it? It does. Chaos ensues! Constant judgment begins! Do I breastfeed? Shit, I don’t want to! Do I go back to work? Who will watch my kids and how much will it cost? Will poison control start tracking my number? I mean, I’ve only called them four times this past month! How the hell did he get into the Desitin bottle anyway?   Nothing can prepare you for your new life as a mom. Yesterday I was feeding my kids cut apples directly from the orchard, and today they are eating old french fries from the seat of my car. It’s called balance! Balance is the only way we can survive this journey of motherhood.

For years after having my children, I could not do anything right. I would not have known balance if it bit me on the ass.  I was merely trying to survive. I was tired and frustrated; I spent all my time trying to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect employee, and I was failing miserably at everything. I knew I wanted to be successful.  Truthfully, I did not want to be a stay at home mom. Pinterest scares me! (Why do we moms do that to each other?) I am so much better when working, but I was struggling to find the balance of being a successful career woman while also being a present mom. Us moms have it hard.  We need to be super mom, super wife, and super ON all the time! It’s exhausting. But what if we worked smarter and not harder?

As a pharmacist, I was working 60+ hours per week—working weekends, working holidays, and missing everything. One holiday season, I had to work Christmas Eve and Day. All my efforts to make Christmas magical for the kids – from moving the damn Elf on a Shelf to a new location every day to hosting holiday pajama parties and making cookies (very burnt cookies because I never could bake)—was made less special because I could not be there for the big moments.  It was then that I decided to take the path less traveled and start my own business. Just because the road is new and different does not mean it is not the right path. I found pockets of time in my already-busy life and built an incredible business that now allows me the freedom to work around my family. I manage an over-half-million-dollar-per-year business all from my smart phone. I set my own hours and am paid for my own efforts. I am no longer tied to the time clock, minimal vacation days, long hours, and mandatory working holidays. I own my time and that is life-changing.

Moms need to take care of ourselves before we can give the best life to our kids. This was the hardest thing for me to do as a mom.  I used to think that if I put myself first, I was not being a good mom, but the truth is you cannot raise self-sufficient and balanced children if they do not see their parents doing it first.  Sure, we have all watched movies or read books about children raised in unstable homes with no role models who manage to rise above it and end up extremely successful and happy. But those stories are the exception to the norm; they go against the odds. I do not know about you, but I do not like to gamble against the odds when it comes to my children. By changing my approach to work and parenting, I am setting an example for my kids to find happiness in balance. I started doing what worked for my family and not giving a damn what the rest of the world was doing! I refuse to compare my life to the highlight reel of other people. And you should, too. Find what works for your family and be unapologetic for it.  

Remember: you are in charge of your life. Wanting something is not enough, you need to go out and get it. Hope is not a game plan. We are all strong, powerful women. Want more time at home? Want to travel? Want to quit the soul-sucking job you hate? Make a plan and change your life.  You deserve better than to settle. Be brave, be bold, and be adamant about the things you want! Moms, we only live once; let us live life to the fullest.