Another One Bites the Dust

As I settle into my 30’s, I look around and realize my city-living friends are dropping like flies.

It hit me hard last fall when I learned that about eight of my friends, from all different walks of my life (high school, college, camp, and “new mom” friends), had enrolled their toddlers in the same soccer class that met Friday mornings in the suburbs.  Most of them never even knew each other until that magical time known as Maternity Leave. You know, that short period where Mondays are your favorite day and your social calendar is jam-packed with long lunches and play groups?

I took a look around my beloved urban surroundings and wondered, is there anyone left in the city?  Will the few people left leave me, too?

I felt so much FOMO, even though I was confident in our decision to raise our children in the city. In order to make myself feel better, I spent most of my days off schlepping to the burbs after my daughter’s classes or blowing off our scheduled program so we could make the hike both ways to an hour-long playdate.  My daughter would fall asleep on our way back to the city every single time, and I would miss her nap. Missing a nap is brutal on so many levels, but wasting it on afternoon traffic got to be too much.

Once summer hit and my daughter began drop-off camp, I no longer had any time on my days off to dash to the burbs.  I realized I had to stop letting myself feel like I was always missing out. I took a step back and realized, I LOVE THE CITY.  I WANT TO LIVE IN THE CITY. I just needed to understand that, while my friendships may change, the strong ones are not going anywhere, even if I don’t see them all the time.  I have found acceptance, and now I feel excited when I make plans in the burbs because I don’t feel like I am forcing anything.

Something else I have realized… sometimes the best of friends will even come back to the city to see me, too.