Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Remember that boyfriend you swooned over and couldn’t imagine letting go of even though you knew deep down inside that he wasn’t “the one?”
When you finally called it off, did you spend weeks wondering if you made the biggest mistake of your life? Or maybe he ended things altogether because you just couldn’t muster up the strength to do it yourself? As time went on you may have wondered what it was about him that made you stay. Was it him or just the idea of him?
Twenty something years later and I’m still finding myself in that same sticky situation, but this time it isn’t about my romantic life, it’s about my work life.
I, like many of my working mama cohorts, fell into a job for one reason or another.
For some, it was love at first sight and they couldn’t imagine doing anything else. For others, it became about working in a position that allowed a desired lifestyle even though it wasn’t a true calling or dream job.
For me, it was about the lifestyle. I found success in positions where I continued to grow as a leader while also affording me the luxury of home ownership, travel, and most of all freedom and flexibility to use my money on things I wanted without my husband breathing down my neck about spending.
But, it also meant monthly business trips, late nights, and always being on call. I’d have to miss out on being Mystery Reader due to an unexpected client conference call. I’d constantly be asking myself this question over and over again, “Why am I doing this?” Even though I’d been given some great opportunities and was good at what I was doing, I wasn’t fulfilled.
So I finally stopped asking myself that question and cut the cord. I knew I hadn’t found “the one” and I wasn’t in love so I QUIT!
As the song goes, “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” and it really is.
I’ve spent years establishing myself as a career woman and in some ways my job was my identity so to leave it all behind in hopes of finding something else that I truly love has taken courage and strength.
It took me driving from the suburbs to Chicago for a job interview during rush hour, going in to meet face to face with the hiring manager, and feeling an overwhelming sense of sickness come upon me to realize I was done with what I’d been doing.
I just heard “blah blah blah” during the first five minutes of the chat and I just cut it off. Just like that, I said, unfortunately I don’t think this is what I’m looking for, we ended the conversation, and I was escorted out.
It was liberating.
It felt free to be so honest in the interview but mostly with myself. I can’t remember the last time I left a job interview feeling so good - even for positions I believed I really wanted.
So what is next? I’m not 100% sure and I’m OK with that. I’m taking this time to listen to myself, consider possibilities, and pursue a job that I love.
Life is too short. Be honest with yourself. If you have ever asked yourself “why am I doing this?”, consider breaking up and seeking out your true love.