Makeup Free and Top Knot Tight

Hi, my name is Amy and I’m a fellow working woman, lady boss, over yes saying, average achieving mom.  It’s been 4 years, 8 days since I last had a five-day a week commute to an office, outside of my home.

I don’t commute, unless you count the one day a week I travel to NW Indiana and the 20 steps I take from my bedroom to get to my home office.

Don’t hate me. I was once one of the working moms who had a commute--from the car, to the train, to the bus, over 10 hours a week, early mornings out and late evenings in, in sunny weather, or inches of snow. I commuted like that for over two years after my son was born.

My job, plus the commute put me into weekly therapy, caused me so much anger, stress and anxiety plus lead me to have one major mental breakdown--or was it a break through?

I quit that job.

Of course, working from home has its luxuries. I can do the whole mom job and make sure my son is where he needs to be whether it’s school, sports or parties.  I can do the whole non-working during the day mom thing, laundry at home, work out, meet a friend for lunch, get my nails done, volunteer for every PTA committee or school related function. However, working from home also has its downsides. Since I have flexibility to my day to say yes to everything listed above, I’m busier and more stressed than I have ever been before.

On the work side of things, I certainly do lots of multi-tasking and I’m always on call. I work in real estate so I have to be prepared for a call anytime of day.  I do try to set personal boundaries, but if I’m working on a real estate deal, I’ll have my phone out and be responding while I’m making dinner, helping my son with his homework or I’ll even respond to a prospect late into the evening if that’s when they are thinking about their new home.  It’s often hard for me to turn off for the day and to set boundaries of a work schedule.

What is the worst part of working from home? Most of the time I feel pretty darn isolated.

Depending on how you look at it, the effect of my working arrangement is I get significantly more accomplished makeup free and top knot tight, in yoga pants, some of which have never ever seen a yoga studio.  

Why do I put myself purposely into the ‘I have too much going on zone’—where I become stressed and forgetful? Why do I find myself having just the hardest time saying no?

Remember when I shared how isolated I feel? To combat that feeling ever so slightly, I say yes.

  • Because I crave conversations with other women

  • Because FOMO

  • Because of the judgment I’ll place on myself for letting someone else down who needs my help.

When I left my office job that I commuted to, I set off to change things for myself.  I was in a bad, unhealthy and unhappy place. I set off to achieve happiness for myself, go back to school, and really immerse myself in finding out if I can truly have it all.  

Today, I’d say I was over-committed, stressed out AF and frankly, exhausted. I’m doing a job I love with a team I respect, building people’s dreams.  I’m present in the lives of my husband and son, living a great life.

Did I achieve my goal?

Will I or us as women, every truly find that sweet-spot of happiness or will we be always and constantly chasing? Second-guessing?

I love working, I love my job. I honestly, don’t think I could ever give up working to some extent.  I love having something that is mine, something outside of being a mother that brings me purpose. I know, what I do every day, makes me a better mother, a better wife and a better person. My son’s excitement for helping me at times with my work--pulling a raffle winner out of a cup doing a facebook live or coming out to a job site. All of this, all the stress, makes me a better happier person.  

Does his excitement and interest mean I’m doing something right?

I can only hope I am.  

Just because I don’t always take a car to my office--doesn’t mean I’m not part of the journey.  Like all of us, I juggle. I stress over saying yes too much, of finding that balance, of getting it all done, achieving my dreams and being the best woman, mother and wife.  

Even if I am makeup free and top knot tight, in yoga pants.