Top 10 Reasons I Say “Keep Going” When Most Say “Stop Growing”
As I embark upon birthday season for my winter babies, I always marvel at how much they’ve grown in a year and reflect back on all the hilarious things that have come out of their mouths, the personalities that have blossomed, their new strengths, their ridiculous fears, and so much more. While others get sad and weepy and post the #stopgrowing and #wheredidmybabygo hashtags, I on the other hand can’t wait to keep watching them become these darn cute little people. And here are the top 10 reasons why…
I’d much rather wipe a tush on a toilet than doo doo in a diaper. I mean can we just talk about those up the back diaper blowouts? Having to get the grossness out of every single crevice? The stench from sitting in their own poop? I wish someone caught on camera the happy dance I did once my little one was potty trained and I never had to purchase another diaper again…until I’m in Depends.
Toddler games are way more fun that baby rattles. Dude, my 5 year old beats me in memory these days, and I don’t even let her. We play Twister as a family (fine, my husband doesn’t play, but it would sure be a funny sight to see). There’s just nothing fun about shaking a rattle and rolling a soft baby ball. Some people are into it, I’m just personally not.
Water bottles are easier to clean than the 10 part baby bottles. I really think Dr. Brown has something against Moms. I honestly thought those damn bottles were going to be the death of me. Taking the pieces apart one by one, washing them out with Dapple and hot water, using that tiny scrubber thing to get in the holes (that seemed to go missing every 3-5 days). It was pure torture. I see the bottles out in public and I cringe, and feel so bad for the person who has to go home and wash it later…but then smile because that person isn’t me!
Toddlers can play in the basement adult-less, babies cannot. I remember the first time this happened, and yes I was rather hesitant, but then I thought to myself “FREEEEEDOM”!! Listen, when you hear someone cry, you run…and it happens, but I don’t think there’s ever been blood.
Toddlers order way better food for me to pick on than babies. Let’s face it, puffs taste like cardboard. Mums, cardboard too. Purees, no thanks. Chicken fingers and fries, yes please. Pizza crust, hand it over.
Toddlers can dress themselves. Albeit in tights and party shoes to play outside in the mud at preschool, but they choose it and put it on themselves. And I don’t even care if its backwards.
The shit that comes out of their mouths is pretty comical…goo goo ga ga is cute (at first), but not at all funny. These little people make me laugh…so much so that I have to capture it on video to share with others.
Toddlers no longer require me to shlep a diaper bag full of crumbs. Instead I just leave snacks galore all over my car and lose on average a water bottle a week since I don’t have the diaper bag to keep it contained.
Toddlers ensure a jam-packed weekend, but babies screw with your schedule – either because there isn’t one, or there’s a strict one, so either way, you’re pretty much f’d. Once you have a non-napping toddler (yay, lucky you!), there’s truly never a dull moment. Plus, between the 37 kids combined of my daughters pre-school classes, plus friends, this assures we have at least 1-3 birthday parties per weekend. That reminds me, I currently have 7 gifts to purchase.
As a toddler, you don’t give a shit when I leave for work, as a baby, you cried like a damn baby. The guilt that ensued on a daily basis was heartbreaking when I left for work with a sobbing baby, yearning for Mommy and reaching out for me like I was never coming back. Now, I’m lucky if you acknowledge my goodbye. Mainly because you are too busy playing with your damn LOLs, and know that whoever is with you that day won’t be losing their sh*t nearly as easy as I would be.
So there you have it. Keep growing little ladies. You are becoming the most fun little sidekicks and my very best friends. I can’t wait to see what this next year holds, but I know it will be pretty friggin’ funny. You already have your birthday party themes picked out for next year anyways.