The 4 Words Moms Say Everyday
Can you take a guess? I’ll give you some hints:
Your response when your kid asks you to play Legos with him…
Your reaction when a friend with no kids asks you to go to shopping with her…
Your comeback to yourself when your internal voice says, “I should work out”…
If you said/thought/knew without a doubt the answer was, “I don’t have time”, then you’re absolutely right. Moms (you) probably say, “I don’t have time” A LOT. I used to say this daily. Multiple times a day, actually.
“I don’t have time to play with you right now.”
“I don’t have time to shop.”
“I don’t have time to work out.”
I wasn’t wrong. I didn’t THINKI had time for all those things. And, honestly, it didn’t feel good. I felt like I was always stretched too thin. I felt like I wasn’t being a good parent. I felt like I wasn’t treating myself as nicely as I should.
Then I made a change, a super small change, a change that requires absolutely no effort except a little bit of honesty. Seriously--it’s that minuscule, yet it had a huge impact on my life.
I stopped saying, “I don’t have time”and replaced it with “It’s not a priority to me”.
It was life changing.
I know it seems trivial and meaningless. I know you’re reading this, rolling your eyes right now. I know you and I know your type: the Miranda from Sex and the Cityskeptic. I know all of this because I’m also you. So, hear me out…
Replacing these 4 words is going to either make you comfortable with that decision (winning) or uncomfortable with that decision and ignite a change in you (also winning).
Here’s an example:
“I don’t have time to work out.” vs. “Working out isn’t a priority to me.”
When you say, “I don’t have time to work out” what you mean is that you’re letting your life dictate what you can and cannot do. Life is in control. You’re not. And I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of a control freak, or a recovering one, at least.
When you say “It’s not a priority to me”, you’re laying down the law that YOU are making that conscious decision to not work out right now. If that feels comfortable to you, great. Be at peace with it. If that doesn’t, you’re going to feel pretty icky about it and start making some changes to make that happen.
Do you need to sleep one less hour per day?
Do you need to bring gym clothes to the office and work out during your lunch hour?
Do you need to find a gym that has childcare so you can bring your kids along?
Do you need to start going to a baby boot camp? (My town has these classes and they’re fabulous!)
So, you’ll either be ok with not doing it (prioritizing it), or you’ll make the change to make it happen, but what you won’t be is a hostage to your time.
Are you still not convinced? Think of something you think you don’t have time for right now and ask yourself this:
"If someone paid me $100,000 to do this, would I do it? Would I find a way to fit it into my life? Would I prioritize it?"
I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I’m thinking you would, unless $100,000 isn’t enough of an incentive to you 😊. I know it would be for me.
I’m telling you all this because, as a working woman, a wife, a mom, a friend, a sister, and all the other titles I have, I know how valuable my time is and I know how valuable your time is, too. I know how when you don’t feel like you have control over your time, other things in your life start to feel like they’re out of your control too. That’s not an easy pill to swallow, a comfortable state to be in, or a balanced way to live.
Start with replacing this phrase. See what happens. It will cost you nothing and may make a HUGE difference in your life. It did for me.
If you like taking steps like these, and prioritizing yourself into your life sounds like a dream you want to make a reality, join me in my new e-course, The Get More Time Project. You’ll learn strategies for how to get more time for yourself, hear tips on how to make the most of your time, and gain a network of other like-minded mamas working it alongside you to make time work for them.
I hope reading this was a priority to you and feel honored to have been given that time to tell you this today. Now go work it, mama, because dreams don't work unless you do.